You haven't seen the best of me, I'm still working on my masterpiece.

Old is gold. :D

I'm really thankful for the once-in-a-while meetup sessions with Xiaofang. She is one of the rare few secondary friends that I still keep in contact with, and I am really grateful that she didn't choose to drop me as a friend even though I know myself that I have been a really bad friend. Really. :/

So this girl was having tuition over at CCK two Sundays ago, and we decided to meet up for a k session (since she already travelled to CCK, so why not? :P) I love to sing, ohyeahs baby!! :D

(Seafood ramen)

Ajisen for lunch. Seafood ramen for me, comes with the octopus side dish and ice lemon tea. Xiaofang ordered her usual, some pork ramen (?) and her favourite gyoza with ice lemon tea. No more Ajisen for me, it is so expensive omg?!

So anyways, I was glad that there was a SG50 promotion going on in the CCK kbox (free flow of snacks and drinks). I was overjoyed because SG50 finally benefited me. I mean, most promotions for SG50 are mainly targeted towards the pioneer batch, so it doesn't really affect me, and I was sad. Wasn't I part of Singapore as well... :(

Hahahahas! Anyways, we got a big kbox room to ourselves (feels pretty spacious as there were only two of us). We sang our hearts out non-stop for three hours and geez, I think my voice broke. T.T After the k session, I just went croaking like a frog omg.

Ohwell. Met my family for a dinner afterwards @ Paradise Dynasty. One of my favourite Chinese restaurants. (Y)

(Some noodles which I forgot what)

(Xiaolongbaos & seafood fried rice)

(Spicy dumplings)

(Dessert!)

Yum yum in my tum tum! :D Today, I give thanks to my family, especially my parents, and to Singapore. Because of their hard work, we get to eat whatever we like, and as much as we want. To the kids in the poor underdeveloped countries, food to them is luxury. Compared to them, we are so much more fortunate. So with a thankful heart, do not waste food. Order and eat the amount of food that you can.

(Sorry, I was getting a little emotional because the table beside me just ordered a whole load of food, to which they cannot finish. And it is only to be cleared and thrown away by the waiter. Ouch. I guess those wasted food are enough to feed a child.)

He carries stars in his pockets
because he knows she fears the dark.
Whenever sadness pays her a visit,
he paints galaxies on the back of her hands.

It's my broken heart in the making.

(Ripped from favim.com)

That sense of famarility. Walking the same route to work everyday without fail. I can remember all the small little details that I see every morning. The various types of floras, the exact places where fresh birdshits are bound to hit, the annoying cyclists speeding on the pavements that are meant to be only for pedestrian use, and the jovial smiles on the Lakeside residents' faces as they stroll with their pet dogs. I know all the last minute details, even their apparels, for I'll know whether it is a newly-bought piece or a worn-before one. Omg, I sounded like a professional stalker. LOLOL! :D

That sense of familiarity. Every morning immediately after I plopped myself on the office chair, 'Angie' will start to echo. That resonance still strike my head every now and then. I was so used to them calling my name that I will even hallucinate sometimes. Ohgosh, I guess I will miss this dearly.

That sense of familiarity. I'll often make my way from the front of the office (where my desk is located) to the back of the office (where my superiors/colleagues are situated) to ask them for new assignments. I'll trudge over with heavy steps because I don't feel like working but slacking the entire day. :/ My colleagues and superiors will too frequent my desk to assign me work (which I dreaded very much, but shh, don't tell them that). However, once in a few days, they will walk over to 'serve' me food instead. From pancakes to kueh lapis to currypuffs and my favourite Baker Talent bread, I get to stuff myself silly all the time. Everyone is just so friendly here! Sorry guys for not getting food for y'all (I did made cornflakes cups for them once though) because I'm just a lowly-paid temporary staff. (Still feeling exhilarated when Rachelle always introduce me as their intern to people from other places. I mean how cool omg. Accounting intern, although it is just a name LOLOL)

That sense of familiarity. My colleagues love to gossip at the back of the office, making my entire office seem like a fish market. In my earlier days, their gossiping sessions will indicate my break time (self-given, oops). Yet as months passed, I'll join their gossiping sessions too. Ohmy, how long has it been since I last gossip? I sure miss them. That thrill. :P Females being females.

That sense of familarity. My colleagues simply love to produce weird sounds with their throats (better way of putting it? :P). Hahahas! Whenever the CEO/CFO is/are not around, music will be blasted and sing-a-long sessions will be held, and I'm just down there waiting for the glass windows to crack. LOL! I will hum along to the tune too if I know the song (which is usually, woots!), and yay, it really helps in making office admin work less boring (and less sleepy) (Y)

It just feels so surreal that I'm going to be leaving this enjoyable workplace of mine in 3 days time after 8 months. No more food, no more free buffets, no more hitching of rides. I guess I'm going to miss this sense of familiarity as I head towards a new chapter of my life in an entirely new environment - university, specifically NUS FASS. I'm actually having mixed feelings about it. :/ On one hand, I'm actually quite excited to make new friends, and to start studying (because 8 months of no studying actually makes me miss it, weird huh). On the other hand, I don't want all this freedom to end. I love my chillax life now, where I can meet up with people and have fun at my own will. Ohgosh, that irony. :3

Pictures in my pocket

are faded from the washer.

I can barely just make out your face.

Food you saved for later

in my refrigerator,

It's been too long since later never came.

The rain, the winter spring has made us fade away.

I have just decided to begin my music journey once again - electone. Today's my third lesson already, and I am feeling quite overwhelmed about the practices and lessons because I have only continued to pick it up again after a long year and seven months (due to the stupid A's and procrastination :3).

I am feeling super rusty, and my fingers and legs weren't as agile as before. (Oops, signs that I'm getting old). However, I'm actually feeling super excited because it is an instrument that I quite enjoy (at least for the playing of songs aspect, not the improvisation and hearing segments).

P.S. If you ask me to pick up the erhu now to play, I think I don't even remember the basic fingerings. LOLOL That's how bad I am. But perhaps I would pick it up and play afew songs in the near future, if not it will just rot at home. (Literally rot because erhu is made of wood, hahahahas!)

Sighpie. I love music. I love the touch of musical instruments. But when can I ever stop procrastinating and pick the instruments up to play? Perhaps I should sign up for some ukelele lessons, and that would probably ensure that my ukelele is not collecting dust in the corner of my house. LOL!

However, the con is that music lessons are freaking expensive?! I am paying $50/h per pax for my current electone lessons. (Fyi, my sister is taking with me). Geeez, looking forward to quickly passing my teacher's grade so that next time I'll be the one charging people $$$ instead. Hahahahas! :D But that would be 3-4 years later, ohwell.

Throwback to a lunch @ Adam Food Center

(Mee goreng)

(Carrot cake)

(Prawn noodles)

Inconvenient place to go to without a car, because there is no MRT stations in close proximity. But the food is finger-licking good! (Y)

Grief is like the ocean,

it comes on waves ebbing and flowing.

Sometimes, the water is calm,

and sometimes it is overwhelming.

All we can do is learn to swim.

-Vicki Harrison

The light bulb symbolises our thoughts and how over-thinking can kill us.

(Ripped from Google images)

I guess that being decisive is one of a key attribute in life.

Like how my superior Rachelle likes to put it, a psychologist should never be fickle-minded. What happens to our patients if we cannot be firm and make correct decisions in the shortest time possible?! And it is true, in a sense. Being decisive is indeed an essential quality not just in psychologists, but in life.

Recently, I was invited to the Durian Fiesta organised by my subsidiary company, and I took a uber long time to decide whether to accept or reject this invitation. I will definitely land myself in an awkward predicament with all the big shots around if I go, yet the durians are beckoning me. (Oops, glutton me). Tough dilemma here. I chose to go in the end, and have never regretted. The fiesta turned out to be alright - my colleagues stayed by me, and I was surrounded with a mountain of durians. :D

So it got me thinking. There's no point in thinking so much about something. Just follow your heart and do it. There's no right or wrong decisions. Most importantly is that we do not regret the decisions we make.

And it is the same with university. Thinking about which modules to select just kills me. It isn't as simple as selecting whatever I like. Other than having to ensure that the workload is spread out, we also have to make sure that the timetable does not clash, the exams do not all fall on the same day, the professors for that particular semester is alright, the university / faculty / major requirements are met amongst others. And what's worst, is having a lousy NUS coordinator who gives two extreme sides of the story when Manda and I emailed her to ask her the same question. I have been on this for quite some time already, and it is getting on my nerves. I hate myself for not being able to confirm the modules that I wanted to take.

Life is all about making choices. And this sucks. But that's what life is all about. Making choices.

Life's actually very simple, but we tend to over-think and complicate matters. But I guess this is innate? I often tell myself that, if the decision I made was considered to be 'incorrect' which resulted in the path in front to be difficult, so be it. One grows up from experiencing obstacles anyway. But I guess this is simply self-deceiving.

Over-thinking can indeed kill us.

Life is beautiful.

When you combine many 

simple things together,

you create something complex.

This is life.

If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Happy Hari Raya Puasa! (Did I get that right? LOLOL!) Glad to have a day of holiday (no work!) because I just came back from chalet yesterday (and feeling damn shag now). Hahahahas! :D

Will update more on my chalet when I'm in the mood to type long posts.

/procrastination kicks in again/ x.x

So the initial plan for the day was to visit Botanic Gardens, but thanks to le sister who wasted half the day sleeping (who in the world sleeps at 8pm the night before and wake up at 1.30pm the next day?!), we were all too lazy to travel anymore. And we ended up just lunching and shopping. #lazysisterwhoruinedallmyplans

Sinful day @ Wanchai, Lot 1 with family.

(Seafood Baked Rice)

(Chicken Baked Rice)

Wanchai serves one of the more delicious baked rice in Singapore (better than Swensens) :P

Okay, I'm going to end abruptly because my 7 pm show is starting soon. Hahahahas!

/tv addict materialises once again/

We all have bad days,

But one thing is true.

No cloud is so dark that

The sun can't shine through.

-Miranda Kerr

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

I gathered myself for yet another social activity after a long hiatus. Hahahahas! (: Finally met up with Tionglei (after 4 months?!) and Xiaofang for lunch @ Eighteen Chefs last Sunday. Awesome time spent because I felt very at ease with their company. Finally revert back to my talkative self, and we had a great time sharing our camps. Hmm, my psychology camp, Fang's engineering camp and errr Tionglei's field camp LOLOL! It felt great to be mocking him :P These are times where I am thankful that I am a girl and thus not a need to serve NS and defend our nation. LOLOL!

And just a mere 4 months of not seeing him, how can I forget his frequent sarcasm on me T.T Omg. He mocked me for being too tanned, for having super bad complexion, for having lopsided hair, amongst many more. Tsktsk. I suddenly felt a drastic drop in self-confidence now. Lmao. x.x

Rushed off with Fang afterwards to meet #xyz弦乐组 (CO section mates) for a k session @ Cineleisure. Learnt it the hard way after going there twice. Never ever go Cineleisure ktv anymore because they cheat $$$ one (by cutting short our singing time?!). Sighpie, and I paid $19 because yours truly forgot to bring her student pass. Zzz.

As predicted, they kept playing English songs (that I have never hear before, omg I am a country bumpkin I swear). Fang and me hurriedly added in some Chinese songs (Since I already paid $19, I want the mike LOLOL). Thankgawd the guys knew the Chinese songs and were able to singalong. Yay, family! :D

(3/4 strength)

Featuring the tall Xinze (oh why oh why did I stand beside him, that height difference), yours truly, Wanying, Fang, Chaomin, Shiwei and Junho. Sorry for being a burden for dragging you guys back for a photo after we parted ways LOLOL! :D

(Photoshopped those who went off earlier)

And not forgetting the two traitors, Kangwei and Shermaine, who went off without dinner.

Grateful for a catchup session (I love the HTHT session especially, Junho's BMT life is just so dramatic) before school starts. Promised myself to not join CO anymore in the future (after going through 6 years of torture), so I'm gonna keep these old friends close! :D Love y'all!

I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,
make a change and breakaway.

Blurred lines.

I went for my university health checkup last Friday with Manda feeling light-hearted, only to return home with a heavy feeling. :/ I've been diagnosed with a mild heart problem (nothing serious, don't worry), what a hassle?! Because off to the polyclinic and hospital I go since the school needs me to submit medical report to declare that I'm fine :/ Arghs.

Anyways, speaking of doctors, my consultation doctor over at NUS UHC is very annoying. I asked so many people who did their checkup in the UHC, but it seemed as though I'm the only one who needs to 'strip'?! Dafug. So freaking awkward despite me dealing with a female doctor. :3 And she is the rudest person that I have ever met?!

I regretted submitting my feedback form before my consultation (because I wanted to save time, so I put faith in the UHC doctors and did the feedback form beforehand, but it turned out that my trust in them is misplaced), ohwell. Tough luck, yanqi!

(The other day at Delifrance with Manda)

(Smoked salmon croissant)

Anyways, we met up with our third musketeer Weina for lunch over at Pizzahut, Lot 1 after our medical checkup. (inserts random and overdued pictures from Delifrance because the blur me forgot to take pictures of our Pizzahut lunch LOLOL) It was a pretty screwed up lunch date, because of the restriction placed due to the polyclinic appointment time that we changed from town to Jurong East before finalising the meetup place at Lot 1. Guys, sorry for being such a burden! D: Troublesome much, sighpie.

So by the way, special thanks to Manda for accompanying me to the doctor's because it would have been boring to wait for such a terribly long time alone just to get a stupid referral letter to the hospital. x.x Hahahas!

It is great to have such awesome friends. :D

I could've been a princess, you'd been a king, 

could've had a castle, and worn a ring.

But no, you let me go.

If people were rain, I was the drizzle and she was the hurricane.

I finally recovered from the psychology camp. LOL! :D I was so tired that it took me 2 days before I had the mood to unpack my bags (imagine how much my clothes would had stunk lmao)! I wouldn't say that this camp is one of those awesome camps that I've been to, but overall it was not bad. I would say, it was a new experience (because we didn't really cheer much, and we actually have Heart To Heart Talk HTHT sessions!) Okay now, brace yourselves for a super long post. :3

So I paid $65 for the camp, exclusive of OG fund $10 (for supper, although I didn't really eat any). This was the first time in my memory that I actually had to pay for a camp, so err culture shock? Hahahas! :D Despite so, I am thankful that I actually came for this 4D3N camp.

I was worried initially because Manda and I were in different OG groups, and so I'll really have to face a totally new group of faces for 4D3N which is quite frightening? Hahahahas, although I had a senior in my group, but it is as good as having none, because she doesn't recognise me. Okay, actually she recognised my face but she forgot my name. Hahahahas, she was my OGL for an AJCO camp, so we are not that close. So okay, forgiven. :P

Day 1: Playing games around the school

(Waiting at busstop)

I was feeling annoyed initially because only my group (and another) had to meet at 8am when the others have the liberty to meet at 9am. Y'know how much an hour more of sleep is worth?! I was feeling so sleepy that day because I was busy packing the night before so I didn't had a good night rest. LOL!

And so, on the first day, I was on my way to the Kent Ridge bus-stop alone (because Manda doesn't want to wake up that early since her OG meeting at 9am - see what I mean?!). I met Chin Lee, my fellow OG mate from ACJC. We made small talks, and our OG actually thought that we knew each other beforehand. Hahahas! :D I'm friendly! :P

We were the last few to reach. Upon reaching, we were made to introduce ourselves. I was a little intimidated because out of 10 freshies, we have 3 from RJC, 2 from HCJC, 1 from VJC, 1 from ACJC, 1 from NYJC and I'm from AJC. Geez, why are all the smart people clustered in my group? Omg. But they are all nice people. (Y) Thankgawd.

So basically, the first day was pretty much chillax. We played games at various stations in the school compound. It was quite mild, except for the first game whereby we had to snatch paint bottles from other groups to complete the word 'PSYCHOLOGY'. That was dog tiring, because of the stupid scorching sun that was making me melt. :/

The first thing I noticed was the flight of stairs in NUS. The school should be short for National University of Stairs instead omg. No wonder most NUS graduates are skinny. They have plenty of exercise everyday. Lmao!

(Night walk)

The games are chill. Our OG is chill (we don't cheer much, which is good, I don't like cheers anyways). We had butter chicken for supper (which was quite delicious), and we slept at 2.30am, which is way past my bedtime. And so my exhaustion continues...

Day 2: Beach Day

(Palawan Beach)

Headed to Sentosa for Beach Day, but I'm not exactly anticipating the beach (because I just returned from Langkawi, the island of beautiful beaches, so Sentosa is somewhat peanuts LOL). I dread the sweltering weather as well. I sounded like some 千金小姐, ohno! So anyways, we reached super early and so our OGLs made us walked the Broadway to Sentosa from Vivocity (it was my virgin experience). This was great, because I had good exercise in the morning + we get to save $4 from the need of taking the skytrain. :P Typical Singaporean.

Sunblock up! I hate the sunblock because of the sticky feeling it left, but experience from the Marina Barrage outing with Manda and Weina a few months ago tells me otherwise. Hahahas, we played a few games on the beach, and it was the first time that I got piggybacked by a guy (other than my dad). I felt sorry (not sorry) to HX and Tiansiang because I am actually super heavy. Oops! (But HX was great because he kept ensuring me that I'm not). :D

Then the beautiful cloudy windy weather decided to get jealous as we're having fun, that it decided to turn into a thunderstorm. Goddamnit! Due to wet weather, we really played lame games (eg. scissors, paper, stone) to pass time. Ohgawd. Had Subway for lunch (I'm really delighted because I finally had decent lunch hahahas!) :D

(Bus back to NUS, featuring my roomies)

Took a break before heading to the bidding lecture. Everything was confusing, even till now. How am I supposed to survive university when I already have problems understanding how to bid the modules -.- Okay, whatever. Too tired to trouble myself over that now. Hahahas!

Then we had this escape room game, and even with all the smart people in my group, we only managed to solve 40% of the entire mystery. Omg. Hahahas! I figured that if I want to go escape room with my friends next time, I better think twice. LOL! :D

This time we had HTHT session till 4.30am with a little bit of whiskey-mix-7up and Macs (which I didn't eat because who the hell eats Macs in the wee hours?!). I was feeling so high that I started to sprout something stupid and everyone got so shocked and everything. I think I made the night memorable. Hahahahas! (: Omg, embarrassing much.

Day 3: Amazing Race!

(Some park)

(My partner-in-crime)

Marcus here was way too hilarious LOLOL! He still dare to scold me for being drunk the night before when he couldn't even walk in a straight line blindfolded. 

(And here, I realised I really suck at drawing)

(Haw Par Villa)

It is really great to have a friend with super long arms that can act as a portable selfie stick so you wouldn't have to carry a stupid stick everywhere you go. Hahahahas! (: Credits to Marcus.

(Group photo)

After various stations, we finally headed for the War Games. My favourite segment of the camp! I love to play water. Hahahahas.

(Bloody wet)

(Still fun though!)

(Saluting our guard)

Went back to the hostel (we stayed in Eusoff hall by the way) for a shower before heading for dinner buffet and our finale night.

Showtime!

We changed the plot and actor/actress many times. Even till the very last minute, we were still changing.  And we kinda speed practice for like 15 minutes before the show? Hahahahas, I ended up as the clown. I think it was great because someone told me I looked like one anyways T.T So it's like being myself. Omg, slap that person! Hahahahas.

(CNY came late this year)

We won the most creative skit award!

I think our skit deserved that award. Hahahahas, it was damn freaking hilarious. We gave up on accuracy and just mainly concentrated on creativity. Many thanks to my OG mates, especially Marcus, for making this possible. (: This is like the first skit that I didn't 笑场, thanks to HX for encouraging me as I was super worried initially. It's funny now that I think about the panic attacks that Melissa and I shared before our performance.

(So we won the best Emily and best Magician)

To be honest, I was a little disappointed because I wanted the best Clown award too. But ohwell, the winner's acting skills were superb. She acted so much like the clown (whereas I just acted like myself lmao). :D

And after the performance, I heard the most comforting words in my entire life. And here it came from someone whom I barely knew. So he went something like: "Hey you did great! You were really damn hilarious. We didn't even think of engaging the judges. That was really awesome. I think you were deserving of the best Clown award!" Viola, it was as though he understood me. I mean, he went deeper and pointed out and compliment me, where everyone else just congratulate me for my performance. His words were really heartwarming.

He was the one who encouraged me to act (I have severe stage fright); he was the one who gave me confidence to act (because he actually laughed at my facial expressions, so I figured okay, I'll be funny enough LOL).

And for the last day, on my farewell card, he wrote: "That was a top-notch performance. I realised that you can be very different based on the mood and setting." (Because of my infamous alcohol incident)

I really want to thank this person. I barely knew him, yet he looked through me so quickly. Yes, I can be very different based on the mood and setting. He's just meticulous enough to notice it. And wah, his words really touched me. He was sincere, not the 敷衍 kind. My impression of him really changed alot. Suddenly, I felt warmth.

Marcus, even though it is high chance that we will revert back to being strangers after this camp, I think I will still keep your words in my heart. Thanks for everything. :D

Special thanks to Melissa and Manda tooos! Y'know the feeling of being appreciated by people? :D It was awesome!

Day 4: Chillax + Break Camp

(ChinLee and Melissa - my closer girlfriends who accompanied me throughout the trip)

Went for OG lunch at Morganfield (atas restaurant okay). Lucky I brought enough cash because I didn't bring any cards out lmao. I had Crayfish Macs and Cheese which tasted absolutely awesome! The best I have ever tasted, and it was filling. I even finished all the vegetables at the side! (Y) The place is famous for their ribs, but poor girl like me don't have enough cash so... 

(Ripped from sheknows.com)

Can't find any picture of my dish online (because I paiseh to take picture of the food before eating, I mean imagine taking pictures as the entire world stares at you lmao), but my dish looks something like that. (: Looks good huh!

(Don't be lazy, Edmily!)

The boy's birthday coming up soon and so we had a mini birthday celebration for him. The chocolate cake tasted delicious by the way, wonder where they got it from LOL! :D

(The last OG photo before we broke off)

Thanks for the awesome experience kiddos!

Credits to Melissa and Chinlee for being my closer girlfriends and accompanying me throughout my entire camp. Credits to Marcus for planning up the skit and making everyone of us laugh with your stupid (and heartwarming) words. Credits to HX for continuing to keep in contact with me, still making me laugh with his stupid cold jokes. Credits to Emily for being a nice roommate although we didn't talk much. Credits to the rest and my OGLs for making this camp a great one.

Small group = more bonding :D

Life is like a song.

In the beginning, there is mystery.

In the end, there's confirmation.

But it's in the middle that's where

all the emotion resides,

It makes the whole thing worthwhile.

The worst thing about being lied to, is knowing you weren't worth the truth.

(Ripped from lovethispic.com)

Like what most humans do, I judge people based on their looks and appearances. Hey, first impression counts rights! We can see the apparels that people wear, the accessories on their necks, and even the number of freckles on their faces due to the unfeeling UV rays of the sun! We can see all these qualities clearly. But sadly, that's all that we can see (the outer appearances), with our naked eye.

What if we put ourselves under a microscope, what would we actually see? Are we able to see ourselves more in-depth? Rather than the outer appearance, are we able to see the personality and thinking of a person? As much as I hope that we can see through a person's thoughts, fantasy shall remain a fantasy. It is hard to guess, and this lack of understanding often leads to arguments and conflicts.

Yes, I hate to admit it. But currently there's one such person that made me absolutely clueless as to what she was thinking. I detest people who speak with no actions taken. If you want something, go get it yourself. Don't expect kind souls out there to help you all the time. Once is alright, twice and it gets a little irritating, and with the third time, it will be the last straw. To be honest, I am quite pissed off now.

And why is it so hard to plan something? Why is it so hard to get people to at least rvsp me? It is either a yes or no, is it really that hard? I'm not asking anyone to write essays on why won't you be here, I just need a reply as to whether you'll be attending so I can continue planning the next thing. And yes bitches, I am stuck now because you guys just ruined everything.

The sun goes down,

The stars come out.

And all that counts

is here and now.

My universe will never be the same,

I'm glad you came.