29 Struggles That Are Just Too Real
For Short Girls
I surely am a short
girl — an unquestionably short girl. Like, we’re talking 4’11” on a good day,
kind of short. From having to sit in a car seat until an embarrassingly late
age, to getting denied from amusement park rides as a full-grown adult, my life
has been one massive blur from a dog’s viewpoint.
But, being a short
girl has its advantages. I hardly ever find myself staring down at a guy; I can
squeeze into small spaces, and I probably could have excelled as professional
limbo champion… and that’s about it. But, more often than not, I find being
vertically challenged to be a huge life disadvantage.
They say being a tall
girl is hard and being a short guy is a real struggle, but let me tell you
right now: Being a petite female is no stroll through the park. Here are
29 struggles that she-hobbits face every day:
1.
You
gave up your dreams of being a model at a very young age.
As a kid, your friends
liked to fantasize about their future modeling careers. But not you — you’ve
been practical your whole life, so you’ve always known better. You let that
fantasy go before it even came to fruition, along with your wish to not be the
first girl in your class’ size-ordered line for just one freaking
year.
2.
You are forever looking up
If I look straight
ahead, I’m most likely staring at your crotch. And, I know your eyes are way
up there, so I’ll just strain my neck muscles and save both of us some
embarrassment.
3.
People always try to lean on you
“You’re, like, the
perfect height for me to lean on.”
Oh, did you think that
was an original joke? If you are a drop-dead gorgeous man trying to woo me,
I’ll probably try to hide my disgust for your poor and unoriginal attempt at
humor. If you are not that guy, kindly f*ck off. Seriously, don’t f*cking
lean on me.
4.
Your default description is “cute”
You’re never really
referred to as “hot” or “sexy.” You’re always the “cute,” “adorable” or “tiny”
one. Though I’m not a girl who typically ventures out in a tight dress and
stilettos, when I put some effort into my appearance, I’ll look in the
mirror and be like, “Damn, gurl, you are one sexy b*tch.”
But, my confidence
dies as soon as I stand next to one of my tall ass friends and instantly feel
like a toddler playing dress up in her mom’s clothes.
5.
Children tower over you
You will never be able
to successfully command a room of kids. Since you are not bigger than they are,
they will never take you seriously as an authority figure. I brush shoulders
with most 8-year-olds, and anyone who has even begun the descent into puberty
unfailingly stares down at me.
6.
You are often mistaken for a child
People always think
you’re younger than you are because of your height. Keep in mind that most
girls reach their permanent adult height before they reach their teenage years.
Yes, I have been this short since I was 12, so you can imagine how
dumbfounded I am when people say things like, “Oh, I thought you were, like, 17
because you’re so short.” You d*ck. I hate you and your absolute lack of
knowledge of the human body.
7.
People ask if you wear children-sized clothes
No, I do not, thank
you very much. But that’s not because I’m too tall to fit into children’s
sizes; it’s because I’m not slender enough. So, excuse me while I cry a little
bit.
8.
Reaching sh*t
When it comes to
reaching sh*t, you generally always come up short (pun so intended).
You can’t reach
certain machines at the gym; you can’t reach the hand rails on the train, and
at most stores, there are two or three shelves hopelessly above your
head. When you’re grocery shopping and the loaves of bread are impossibly
out of reach, you rationalize that you don’t need those carbs, anyway.
Walk away with your
head held high, lady.
9.
Everyone constantly asks if you need help
reaching sh*t
After watching me
frantically try to stuff my carry-on into the overhead compartment for the last
five minutes, you obviously know I could use a f*cking hand.
Even though the
anxiety-sweat dripping down my back and face might tell you otherwise, I’m no
quitter. I will hold on to every ounce of pride I have left; I say “no, thank
you” and go for the power jump. Something always works out eventually.
10.
When you gain weight, it’s painfully obvious
Five pounds on you
carries like the average-height-girl’s ten pounds, and this just is not fair at
all because pizza is so good and you really like to eat it.
11.
Your assets are accentuated
Large assets on a tiny
body can get awkward looking. By awkward looking, I really just mean super
obvious. Ex: “I know you
have a big booty because it’s literally half the size of your body, and it’s
all that I see when I look at you.”
12.
People often ask why you don’t just wear heels
I’m just not the type
of human who can function in heels. They are unnatural burdens, and I hate them
with a burning passion. Are heels really your solution to all my height-related
problems? Sure, they will make me a few inches closer to looking
age-appropriate for a night out, but what about the daily struggles? Heels are
hardly functional for a number of activities.
13.
You find yourself standing on your tiptoes
more often than not
Since you’ll hardly
ever see a pair of heels on my feet, I’ve been forced to resort to the
next-best thing: tiptoes, nature’s heels. Whether I’m trying to participate in
a conversation in a crowded bar or trying to reach an ear to share some juicy
secrets, I’m forever on my tiptoes and simultaneously getting in a quick calf
workout.
14.
Your short little legs can only move so fast
Nice, relaxing strolls
with taller people can quickly turn into full-on cardio workouts when you
attempt to keep up. You watch in envy, as their stilt-like legs take one
effortless, gracefully long stride at a time, covering the ground that your
three frantically-quick steps take. Surely, this isn’t fair.
15.
The pressure is on to date shorter men
Personally, I’ve
always preferred taller dudes, but taller girls, who have a smaller dating
height pools, constantly reprimand me for this.
16.
You feel oddly guilty when you’re with a tall
guy
Thanks for this
one, society, but I hardly have an obligation to save the tall guys
for the tall girls. While I struggle through my dating life, standing on my
tiptoes to make out with someone only to fall into the “we’re just too far
apart in height for that position” realizations, I’ll continue to date tall,
guilt-free, thank you very much.
17.
You have already planned your apology to your
future children
You know that even if
you procreate with someone super tall, your offspring will be average height,
at best. Maybe. Regardless, you have some kind of apology tucked into the
back of your mind, just in case you pass along your hobbit genes to your future
spawn.
18.
Nothing fits right
You stare enviously at
average-height girls who pull off trends you would never even dream of
trying. You covet the midi and maxi dresses that will never flawlessly
grace your body, as well as the numerous pant trends that require a
normal-sized leg to pull off.
19.
You have a tailor you hold near and dear to
your heart
I avoid alterations at
all costs. If pants come in “short” or “petite,” I rejoice that I can roll the
legs once and call it a day (because “short” doesn’t mean that short,
obviously).
And, since things
meant to fit short are average-length on you and things meant to fit
average-length people are just dragging on the floor, you always have to think
quick on your toes. For example, I’ve been known to wear capris as jeans
and midi skirts as maxi skirts — it’s called improvising.
But, I
digress. Most short girls have a very necessary and meaningful bond with a
tailor, who will transform her adult-sized clothes into the doll clothes
she really needs.
20.
At times, you go completely unnoticed
I try to contain my
frustration when a cashier completely skips me in line because he or she just
couldn’t see my wee little self, standing amidst all of the real, grown-up
people. B*tch, the bun bobbing between two torsos belongs to someone!
21.
People question how you could possibly drive
I will never, ever
mutter the huge lie that I am a good driver because under no circumstances is
that true. But, my lack of driving skills is not due to my height. Of course,
I can see over the wheel; there is no issue there (although, there is some
concern about how dangerously close we must sit to it in order to reach the
pedals).
22.
People have suggested you are handicapped
“You do know you can
get handicapped license plates because of your height, right?”
You are so familiar
with this question that it just makes you want to slap someone right across the
face. Apparently, measuring in below 4’11” is considered a handicap, and
people are really bothered when you don’t take advantage of this.
23.
Most pools are entirely deep-end for you
What is a shallow end?
Because, after much feeling around, my feet surely can’t find one. While all of
your friends are lounging in the pool, perhaps sipping some drinks, you are
barely managing to keep your airways above the water. But, it’s all good
because treading water burns calories, so you win.
24.
Concerts are always a “different” type of
experience
As an avid
concertgoer, I preach the concept that live music is about hearing a
band perform live, not necessarily about seeing them. This is
important because you can never see anything except for the person
standing in front of you.
25.
You are easily lost in the crowd
Standing in or walking
through a crowd proves to be an extra-special kind of challenge for those who
suffer from height deficiency.
I sometimes feel
subhuman when I’m in a big crowd of seemingly giant people. You can’t see
anyone’s face; you are breathing everyone’s exhaled air, and you’re pretty sure
no one even knows the thing pressed against his or her ass is your face. In
fact, your presence usually goes completely undetected.
So, yeah, I’d say
being smothered or trampled to death in a crowd is a legitimate fear to have.
26.
You get grilled extra hard at the bar
I guess, to some
bouncers, the notion of a child-sized human entering a bar is just too much to
handle. I’ve gotten straight-up laughed at in my face by bouncers who just
don’t understand how the concept of height works.
Somehow, my license
becomes “clearly fake” or my picture “obviously isn’t me.” Then, I’m forced to
say things like, “You’re just a doorman, Doorman,” “Knocked Up” style.
27.
You fear shrinking in your elderly years
Since you’ve been
standing small at your current height for some years now, you’ve accepted the
hand life dealt you. You’ve never stood taller, so you know you can hang at
this height, regardless of how frustrating it can be at times.
But, when your senior
years hit, along with osteoporosis, you know there’s nowhere to go but
down. The thought of shrinking to an even shorter height is actually
terrifying and begs the question, “How low can you go?”
28.
Your Napoleon Complex sometimes gets the best
of you
As much as you don’t
want to admit it, it’s pretty safe to say that all short people, both male and
female, have at least somewhat of a Napoleon Complex. Whether you feel the need
to be the life of the party, or you speak louder than everyone else in a group,
your Napoleon Complex is just your way of saying, “Hey, I might be short, but I
most certainly still exist!”
29.
You constantly wonder what the world looks
like from a taller perspective
But, you’ve accepted
the fact that you will never know the answer to this question — unless you
learn how to walk on stilts. Despite all of the obstacles you face in your
stunted life, living down here is certainly not the worst possible thing in the
world.
Written by:
Brittany Greco
Just an article that Huiqi sent to me a few days ago. Standing from a short girl's point of view, I found some parts to be rather true. :/ Oops. Hahahas, so here's to share!
(Taken from: http://elitedaily.com/women/29-struggles-just-real-short-girls/780415/)
