Well, truth hurts, and lies worse.

Once upon a time...

(Ripped from takedesigns.com)

Today marks the end of my journey of being a General Paper Representative (GP Rep). Hahahas, :D Feeling melancholic over it, but I believe this feeling will disappear over time. I knew about Bell's desire for a change of GP rep sometime ago, but still, when this cold hard fact hit me, I can't help but felt dejected. It was inevitable given that I had stayed on this job for nearly 1.5 years already. To be honest, I had developed much feelings for this role.

Hahahas, when Bell asked me to volunteer another girl as the next GP Rep, my mind went blank instantly and the image of Jocelyn immediately flashed through my mind. Yeahs, I didn't volunteered any of my clique members, but instead Jocelyn because she held no position in class (Bell wanted someone without any position in class). I'm sorry if I didn't choose Yanlin although I think she needs it more than Jocelyn (for testimonial purposes), but at that moment, I couldn't think properly at all, so yeahs. I believe Jocelyn will do a good job of being the GP Rep though. She is responsible enough and has the ability to lead.

I was thinking if I really did make the right choice, but what's done cannot be undone. Jocelyn even apologised to me, but I know it wasn't her fault, it was Bell who wanted to 'strip' me off my title. Sorry if I sounded very harsh, but that's exactly what I'm feeling now. Anyways, I should feel relieved of my duties. No more annoying Bell, no more judging looks by my friends (in particular, yeeying, who gave me plenty of judging looks when I made a mistake about some lecture schedule last week, causing much trouble for everyone) x.x

Anyways, during the recent woo-ha when I mixed up the lecture schedule (it wasn't my fault, it was Bell's), I want to thank babypoop, kaiyuan, hongwei, prashanth and christel for comforting me, assuring me, and standing by me. Thanks eve and weina tooos for accompanying me to see Bell because I thought that he will give me a lashing.

I also want to thank babypoop, hongwei, matien and prashanth for your comforting words today when I 'stepped down' from my duties. Simple words such as "You are the best!" and "The awesome GP Rep ever!" had made my day. It felt as though my contributions were recognised. Thanks guys, <3

Although I was a little fed up with Christel for rubbing salt into my wound, who said that I gave up my role to let Bell to bully Jocelyn, I am not going to think much about it anymore. It is time for me to let go.

Yeahs, I can concentrate on my studies better now. I won't be sent out of class to print reading materials for the class. I can pay attention during lessons. My grades can improve. It is beneficial for me. I should think this positive way.

But perhaps, this might take some time for me to get over it ...

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real